


"I Love You, I Always Have..."

by not_bobo



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: AU Adora Dies At The Heart, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Catra dealing with grief, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25510042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_bobo/pseuds/not_bobo
Summary: Catra couldn't move, she didn't want to let go. This wasn't supposed to be how it ended. The tears continued down her cheeks as she felt the embrace of Bow and Glimmer. Slowly they helped her let go. She had to accept it. This was it. Adora was really... Gone.ORAdora and Catra are at the Heart of Etheria about to deactivate it, but things don't go well.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	"I Love You, I Always Have..."

**Author's Note:**

> I have other things I need to write but this idea just kind of popped up and I decided to write it so I can do some practice writing angst.

"Don't you get it, I love you! I always have... So please just this once... Stay!" Catra held Adora close as the sounds of the Heart of Etheria being hijacked continued in the background, she spoke in a softer voice this time, "Stay..."

A burst of power coming from the Heart was just about to hit Catra as a shield appeared behind her back. Catra looked at the shield and hopefully looked back to Adora. Adora's eyes stayed shut. Catra felt tears starting to run down her cheeks as she hugged her closer.

"Adora... I love you..." With that Catra's lips moved onto Adora's. The room went silent for a moment as a gleam of light came from Adora and onto the heart. The light shined bright which forced Catra to close her eyes. When the light was gone, Catra flickered open her eyes. She looked to Adora who she was still kissing but... There was no movement from Adora, "Adora..?"

Catra's tears grew larger as she hugged Adora closer to her, her arms tight. Adora's breathing was slow and soft. Catra desperately held on for a while. She remembered all the times... Every time she and Adora would run around in the Fright Zone as kids... All the times they pulled pranks on Kyle... The times they'd train together... And even on the ship...

Catra held on so tightly to Adora she wasn't sure if her claws were digging into Adora's skin or not. But she wasn't about to let go.

"You can't give up yet! You did it! The Heart's magic is released, Adora..." Catra's sobbing grew more out of control by the second, "Y-You saved everyone, i-it's okay! Y-You... You can wake up now!"

Silence. Catra listened for Adora's breathing again, it was still there but so faint by now...

_**"ADORA! YOU'RE TOO STRONG TO GIVE UP NOW! PLEASE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP THIS EASILY!"**_ Catra yelled as she cried into Adora's shoulder. The breathing became slower... And slower... And...

"Adora..?" Catra whispered, just loud enough to be audible. Nothing. She listened for a sign of breath. The area remained silent aside from the sound of ambiance. Catra's eyes flew shut as she cried out, **"ADORA!!"** Her hands hugged her tighter than she ever had before in her life... There was no way...

She wasn't gone. She was too strong to be gone...

" _I love you..._ " Catra kept repeating, " _I'm so sorry... For everything... I only hurt you... I promise I'll be better, just come back... Stay..._ " She kept sobbing.

A few minutes had passed when voices had echoed from the entrance to the Heart.

"Catra! Adora! What happened!" Bow had yelled from the entrance, Glimmer just beside him. The two gasped at the sight of Adora being clutched so tightly be Catra.

Catra couldn't move, she didn't want to let go. This wasn't supposed to be how it ended. The tears continued down her cheeks as she felt the embrace of Bow and Glimmer. Slowly they helped her let go. She had to accept it. This was it. Adora was really... Gone.

**. . .**

It had been 6 months since... The Heart of Etheria had been deactivated. Catra hadn't left her room much. After Horde Prime had seemingly disappeared from existence altogether Catra was offered a home in Brightmoon. She accepted it and now, she never felt like leaving her room. Even the memorial for Adora wasn't attended by her. Countless times people had tried to talk to her but she never responded... Glimmer and Bow left her meals on her table to which she still ate when she was hungry, but nothing tasted good anymore. It was all plain.

Catra sighed as she looked up at the ceiling in her room. It was white, unlike the Fright Zone. There had been several occasions where she was almost tempted to go back to the Fright Zone, but now... The memories just being there hurt too much. Everything hurt so much. She felt like she had nothing to live for, but she knew it would be really selfish if she let death take her away just like it had done Adora. She'd made a promise the day at the Heart, that she'd be strong. She wasn't going to give up that easily. Everything still... Hurt.

She clutched to the sheets on the bed. She often was curled up in them not doing much of anything. Catra's ear twitched at the sound of a soft knocking at her door.

"Catra?" Came the voice of Glimmer. Catra didn't respond though. Glimmer knocked again, "Catra, are you okay?"

"Obviously I'm not, why don't you just leave me alone..." Catra grumbled as she buried her face in the blankets. The clicking of the door opening caused Catra to jolt back up.

"Catra... It's been half a year," The queen went over to Catra's bed and sat on the end, "I know you're not okay, but staying in here all day isn't going to help."

"Why do you care..." Catra mumbled into the blanket.

"Well, I always knew Adora wasn't one to give up without a fight," Catra winced at the mention of her name, "When... My mom was gone... They thought not talking about her would make me feel better, but that's not true." Catra raised an eyebrow. She was technically at fault for that... But she couldn't even feel guilty about that right now.

"We talked about her and well... It made some of the grief I was feeling go away, and it got relatively better for me from there," Glimmer turned away for a moment, "I... I still miss her. Everyday I always wonder what she'd be like if she was alive right now. She was probably one if not my bestest friend and I miss the times we spent together."

"Like the times you'd sneak into the kitchen and eat cake..?" Catra added, "I remember you mentioned that one time."

"Yeah, I'll be honest I've... Not ate cake in half a year," Glimmer sighed, "I get it, it hurts to lose someone you love. Either it be platonic or romantic." The feline looked shocked up at Glimmer.

"How did you know?" She asked, becoming curious if she was psychic or something.

"Well... I don't for sure, but I can tell you guys had... A spark. Chemistry. A bond that could never be broken," Glimmer reminisced, her eyes gleaming with small tears for a moment.

"Uh... You're right, I did... Have feelings for her in that way," Catra admitted, that weight was lifted off her shoulders and did it feel good to finally say it out loud, "At the heart, I told her that I'd always loved her, and... When she didn't wake up I might have..."

"Kissed her." Catra turned away, burying her face deeper into her blankets. She shouldn't have done that, she's never going to even know if Adora loved her the same way.

"You know, when cleaning out her room... I found this from her belongings back at camp," Glimmer handed Catra a letter, which was folded and on top had written, 'To Catra'. She took the letter and opened it, mystified by what it contained. She read the words to herself in her head.

_'Dear Catra,_

_I don't ever want to give you this, but in case things go wrong with the heart and you know... I want you to have this._

_I never wanted to admit it for the longest time, but I think I might love you. Not just platonically like we are now but..._

_Romantically. I'll be honest when I started thinking about it I never wanted to believe it but, here we are. I miss you, I don't really understand why you ran off. We both know Shadow Weaver doesn't stand in the way technically speaking, but... That's about it. I'm proud of who you've become. I knew that you..._

_You're a good person._

_I love you Catra,_   
_Adora'_

Catra read over the note once more in disbelief, an overwhelming amount of emotions accompanied with it. When she finished reading it a second time, she felt her eyes growing watery. She felt the reassuring hand of Glimmer fall on her shoulder as she started to cry. It'd been a while since she'd last cried, but she... Never knew any of this, and to think she wrote this before they'd gone to the heart. She really knew what was going to happen.

"I'm the reason she isn't standing here... Am I not," Catra said, "She died because I didn't try hard enough." The statement was full of bitter guilt. Adora died and she got to live. That was just _swell_.

"It's not your fault Catra, you can't stop death," Glimmer hugged Catra, "You did everything you could."

"But she's still dead, and guess what! It's because she gave herself before choosing what she wanted!" Catra shouted, hot tears still running down the side of her cheeks.

"Catra. Stop," Glimmer hugged her tighter, "I know she was stubborn, dear god are we all stubborn." She paused for a moment before continuing, "It's annoying, that she always would sacrifice herself to save everyone. It hurts. When you're close to her it hurts. I know that. Not in the same way you do but I do get it. It sucks. But in the end, we're still here, and she would want us to move forward in life." Glimmer let go of the hug for a moment, "You have a family that loves you for who you are, we're here for you because that's what we want to do. We want to help you."

Catra stayed quiet. She felt as if a dam of emotions were being held back by a thin piece of wood. All she needed was...

"I love you Catra, I'll be here for you every step of the way," Glimmer said as she hugged her closer. From the time the two had spent together, Catra had always known Glimmer as... Sort of a sister. The two were so different, yet so similar at the same time. They could talk to each other. They understood each other. Catra couldn't hold back as a flood of tears burst through while she began sobbing. Glimmer hugged her even tighter this time. Catra didn't want her to let go though.

"I... I-I love you too, S-Sparkles..." Catra hugged Glimmer back, the two staying in each other's embraces for a moment before Catra eventually let go. She sighed as she thought for a moment. She really did need to move forward...

"I promise I'll leave my room, I shouldn't shut myself out," Catra said, making Glimmer tilt her head.

"Really? That's great!" Glimmer hugged her again, "I get it if you don't want to talk about Adora but... It helps to have someone to talk to." Catra smiled a little at the end of the sentence, "You should know where to find me, but I'll leave you be."

"Thanks..." Catra said, as Glimmer stood up and left the room. When the door clicked behind her Catra stood up. She walked over to her dresser which had a photo of the best friend squad. She Adora were close together, smiling while Bow and Glimmer were doing comedic poses with each other. It was bittersweet.

She knew one thing, and that was she still felt... Empty... But the talk from the queen had made her feel better than she had in months. She also knew that it was going to take a long time to move on, but that she'd get there eventually. The grief hadn't left yet, but as she sat the photo back down she sighed, knowing that wherever Adora was, she was proud of Catra. She was going to try from now on.

That's what Adora would have wanted at least.

**Author's Note:**

> Angst is
> 
> Fun to write
> 
> That's it. That's the post. Send tweet.
> 
> I'm sorry it's sad, and that's it's kind of short. It was an open-ended prompt so...


End file.
